Remembering Harlan (1934-2018)

It's appropriate that people don't have any words to eulogize Harlan Ellison's passing. How do you sum up a life so marbled and striated and so deeply influential in a few sentences? And as someone else already pointed out, he used up all of the good words long before us.

Nevertheless, I hope you'll indulge me as I try to bring some understanding for myself on the death of one of my literary inspirations. I can't call him a mentor, because it wasn't an active relationship--or otherwise, he was a mentor to all of us--but he did teach me a few things, even if he never knew it.

It was my old friend Billy Haney who turned me on to Ellison at the age of seventeen. I'm not going to say "It's Billy's fault," because that is a hoary cliche and moreover, I don't blame him for it. We were both writers, and he was the first person I could talk craft with and not get a deer in the headlights look. Instead, I'll say Thank You, Billy, because reading Ellison as an angry young man absolutely changed my life. It got me through high school. I am not kidding about that.

At the time, me and my friends all had front row seats for the giant falling out between Ellison and Gary Groth over remarks he'd made in a lengthy interview about Michael Fleischer in The Comics Journal, which was our New Yorker at the time. The incident turned into a lawsuit that cost everyone a chunk of cash and turned their friendship into an acrimonious sideshow that lasted, presumably, to the end of his life. Billy was the one who articulated to me why this was a big deal, and that alone sent me scouring after his books.

The first Ellison book I got was Strange Wine, a collection that sold me right away on who this Ellison cat is and why he's called a writer. I'd watched his Star Trek episode, like any good nerd, but I was fascinated to know that they changed his script and he flipped out and walked out when they did. But I'd never read Ellison in his pure, uncut form before. I opened the book up to Ellison's introduction, Revealed at Last! What Killed the Dinosaurs! And You Don't Look So Terrific Yourself, and that was it for me. This cat had some fire. And I got a little obsessive looking for Ellison books after that.

It was probably six months after reading Strange Wine that this guy walked into the comic and book store where I was working and--my hand to God--he brought a sack of books to sell. Along with some of the usual used fantasy and science fiction titles (did everyone read Stephen Donaldson in the 1980's?) was a cache of twelve Ellison paperbacks. I will explain to you Internet users why that's a big deal.

Before everything from pistachios to porn was three mouse clicks away, if you wanted to read a book, you had to go actually find that book. You had to drive to a used bookstore (because there was no Ellison in print at that time--he sold out quickly) and you had to scour their stock, and then, sheepishly, or in desperation, you had to walk up to the register monkey and ask, "Do you have any Ellison?" and then you had to take it when they gave you a sympathetic shake of their head or worse, a derisive sneer, and they almost always said the same thing. "He sells when we get him." Yeah, no shit he sells. I can't find his stuff anywhere.

That's what it used to be like, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Victoria Vetri was the queen of us all. Collecting books took years. Finding authors whose work you enjoyed was akin to archeology. You bragged to your friends about what you found on your trips.

So, when twelve Ellison books showed up, in my store, in front of me, I bought them. I paid the guy half of what I was going to buy them for, and he left happy. I never saw him again. But I stared at those twelve books: I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, Deathbird Stories, The Glass Teat, The Other Glass Teat, Love Ain't Nothing But Sex Misspelled, The Beast That Shouted Love at the Heart of the World, Dangerous Visions, Ellison Wonderland, Spider Kiss, and the rest, and I felt like the book-nerd version of Indiana Jones staring at the Ark of the Covenant.

I read those books, nearly straight through, for the next two or three years. Here is a short list of just some of the things I pulled from the pile of books, aside from a mass of thoughtful and intelligent prose, sometimes poetic and sometimes distractingly baroque and dated:

It was in The Glass Teat that I read Ellison talking--as a TV and cultural critic--about the effect that television was having on the American public. Of particular interest to Ellison was the cognitive distortions he witnessed that were occurring to us as a people. An alarmist screed, 90% of which either came true or is still relevant to this day.

It was in Deathbird Stories that I first read"The Whimper of Whipped Dogs," a story Ellison wrote in a blind anger about the murder of Kitty Genovese, was one of those watershed moments for me as a fledgling writer.

It was in Spider Kiss that I realized you could write about someone or something very real without using their name, i.e. Elvis. Ellison had some things to say about the seduction of celebrity and he wanted to use Elvis as a metaphor for that, even as Elvis was still very much alive at the time the novel was written. After reading Spider Kiss, and decoding it as an allegory, I started seeing it everywhere.

Reading the Ellison-edited anthology Dangerous Visions was the first time I'd encountered the work of Carol Emshwiller ("Sex and/or Mr. Morrison), whom I'd never heard of, Samuel Delany ("Aye, and Gomorrah"), who I had heard of, but never read before, and Theodore Sturgeon ("If All Men Were Brothers, Would You Let One Marry Your Sister?"), who I realized I'd been reading for years in other anthologies and loved him.

In The Beast That Shouted Love at the Heart of the World, I first read "Along the Scenic Route," about a man on the highway, his car armed to the teeth, that decides to fight back against his unnamed tormentor with a fusillade of machine gun fire. The short story was one of the inspirations for the game Car Wars and probably also Deathrace 2000. My first car, a 1971 Volkswagon Beetle, had a toggle switch on the dash that was labeled "Missile Launcher."

 There are more, but you get the idea. Ellison shaped my tastes and influenced my writing, so early, and so much, that it's difficult to say where, exactly, but I can point to one thing that jump-started what eventually became my "voice": Anger.

Ellison was angry, a lot. Many of his best stories and essays have the white-hot intensity of someone who is righteously indignant about something, and in Ellison's case, it could be anything: creative theft, social injustice, gross stupidity, corporate greed, professional greed, personal greed, pride, avarice, lust, war--pretty much any combination of the seven deadly sins of man--betrayal, mediocrity, and a horde of enemies, a legion of lickspittles and toadies that all conspired to bring us as a people down into the muck, a backslide into barbarism. Ellison hated all of that shit, and he punched back as often and as hard as he could, for as long as he could.

His anger made it all right for me to be angry, and moreover to express my anger. Venting my spleen was good for me. It let me articulate, sometimes better, and sometime worse, what bothered me. It made me choose my words carefully. It sharpened my wit, if not my wits.  It honed my voice. He made me a better writer by his example. I've been thinking about my anger a lot for the past six months and I've spent years strangling it off, bit by bit. I'm not going to do that anymore. I don't know if I'll ever be as pissed off as I was in my twenties, but I've stopped censoring myself. Anything less would be a betrayal of me as a writer, and that's something I took straight from Harlan Ellison's own playbook.

I got to meet him, twice, and the meetings where, thankfully, free of drama. By the end of the 20th century, he'd become something akin to the barker at his own sideshow. He'd been "the angry guy" for so long that people expected it. And many people goaded him, like it was a party trick, to blow up and do his little song and dance. I saw that in action at a San Diego, where a fan in front of me asked, grinning like an idiot, "I wonder if you'd seen the latest editorial that Gary Groth wrote in The Comics Journal where he mentioned you by name?"

By the mid-90s, Ellison and Groth hadn't spoken in years. The lawsuits had poisoned their relationship and they were not in contact. Anyone else would have slapped a smile on their face and said, "No, I haven't. We don't communicate anymore." Or something to that effect. But Ellison woke up like the chicken at the state fair that plays Tic-Tac-Toe and said, "Gary Groth?! Don't ever mention his name to me again or I'll drive to your house and kill your mother!" He vented for another fifteen seconds, and the fan basked in it, like it was a refreshing shower. He walked off. He'd gotten his Ellison story. "Harlan blew up at me for mentioning Gary Groth in a conversation." It was bullshit, and I felt sorry that Ellison felt like he had to play along.

The second time I met him was at an AggieCon in 2000, along with the other members of Clockwork Storybook. We were selling chapbooks and we gave one of each to Ellison. He made a point of looking through them and complimenting us on our attention to detail in the creation of the books. Later, he actually called Chris Roberson to talk to him about things he'd written--and at the time, I was glad he hadn't called me, because Ellison could be just as effusive with his scorn as his praise. Now I wish he had. I would have taken Ellison's abuse and thanked him for it.

I wish I'd thanked him earlier.

Rest in Peace, Harlan. If anyone earned it, it's you.

It's difficult to measure his influence on speculative fiction, a term he used to describe fantasy and science fiction because he thought the genres needed elevating. I certainly took more from him regarding my non-fiction writing, and also a lot of how to conduct business as a writer. He walked away from a lot of jobs, and picked fights and even lawsuits with many others, over the treatment of himself and his work. He made it clear that writers--all artists--have value and should be treated fairly and with dignity. Also, he made it clear that writers were under no obligation to write happy stories. He said it best himself:

I don't know how you perceive my mission as a writer, but for me it is not a responsibility to reaffirm your concretized myths and provincial prejudices. It is not my job to lull you with a false sense of the rightness of the universe. This wonderful and terrible occupation of recreating the world in a different way, each time fresh and strange, is an act of revolutionary guerrilla warfare. I stir the soup. I inconvenience you. I make your nose run and your eyes water.

In the next few days, I'm sure that there will be a slew of counter-eulogies, describing what a misogynist prick Ellison was, or how he was an asshole and shouldn't be lionized. They will all be within their rights to offer up such a course of action. And they will be wrong. Now about him being an asshole, but over his canonization. Whatever problems Old Ellison had in the digital age, Young, Fresh, Blood-in-his-eyes Ellison set the pace for generations of writers and artists. He deserves his place at the table, and don't think for a minute he doesn't.

Polemic. Irascible. Curmudgeonly. Alarmist. Controversial. Brilliant. Born out of time and indelibly of his time. There will never be another Harlan Ellison. How could there be?

My Top 5 Favorite Lovecraftian Movies

When I was a teenager, I read my fill of H.P. Lovecraft, the man responsible for the Cthulhu Mythos and the current dust-up about the World Fantasy Award statue. Widely considered unfilmable for literally decades, we’ve only recently begun to see his weird and uniquely bleak visions translated into cinematic fever dreams.

To be completely fair, Lovecraftian cinema has been in effect since the 1960’s; it’s just not been done very well. Compromises were made in nearly every movie bearing Lovecraft’s name, some of them so egregious that it makes one wonder why they even bothered in the first place.

I think the best movies that encapsulate Lovcraft’s themes, tropes, and ideas tend to be the original movies made with a Lovecraftian sensibility; this notion that the more you know about the things just outside our consciousness, the more insane it makes you. This is an effective horror motif, and done correctly, like many of the movies below, it’s some of the most effective scares in book or movie form.

My Top 5 Favorite Haunted House movies

Is there anything more cliché’? More hoary and hackneyed? More played out? The Haunted House “trope” has been beaten to death, thanks to Scooby Doo, ABC After School Specials, and a ton of pop cultural appropriations. Along with the ghosts who frequently accompany them, no other supernatural occurrence has been so abused and ridiculed as the Haunted House.

And yet, some of the best horror movies ever made are haunted house movies. Some of the most terrifying films of all are about something being left behind, or being “not quite right” about the cornerstone of our notions of safety and security. Houses—our homes—are our defense against the forces of darkness that stop at our threshold. When our own walls revolt and offer us no protection, what hope do we have? That’s where the best haunted house movies get us: right where we live.

A Beginner's Guide for Reading Mark Finn *UPDATED*

The Author, trying to out-spooky Alan Moore.

You may have noticed this year that I've had a few books re-issued, published, and reprinted. So far, there's five new books out there and three more on the way. You may be thinking to yourself, "But Mark, you've written so many books, I can't keep up! I might as well just go outside and play with my dog."

Don't pick up that leash yet, Hot Stuff. Sure, modern living forces you into doing these you don't want to do, like Jury Duty, and math. I get it. So, for those of you who want to support your old buddy/school chum/lover/personal trainer Mark Finn, but you don't have time to read brief descriptions to gauge your interest levels, here's a quick and easy guide to help you select the book that's right for you. Just click on the links below and you will be whisked to Amazon.com where you can make a fast, painless transaction. And if you still can't decide, you can always buy two books. I promise, I won't tell.


"I don't like all that weird sci-fi and fantasy stuff you like. Except for True Blood. And Game of Thrones. Oh! And Twilight. And of course, the Harry Potter books. And American Horror Story. But other than that, I'm not really into that crazy stuff."

Newsflash: Yes, you are. And you'll love Year of the Hare. Sam Bowen is one of my most popular characters and he's a normal guy who learned magic to try and reverse a family curse that's been placed upon him. This is the first of two books that will collect all of his stories together from the Clockwork Storybook shared world of San Cibola. Click here for a preview!

"I like fantasy and sci-fi, but I'm not real familiar with it. It's all very big and new to me. Also, I like romance and love stories."

If this is you, then you want to pick up Empty Hearts, my collection of short stories that all deal with love, loss, and desire in a modern-day city where magic is an everyday occurrence. These stories take place in San Cibola, as well, and are a kinder, gentler introduction to that world. Well, mostly... Expect some ghosts and some monsters mixed in with the romance and intrigue. Click here for a sample!



"I love modern fantasy, and I also think Quentin Tarantino is a hoot! This means I have a short attention span. And if you've got something with Elvis in it, well, that would be one Hell of a Hat Trick for me!"

Say no more, Bwana! Road Trip is just what you need. Brash, violent, over the top, and best of all, it's chock-full of profanity and adult situations, just like an R-rated movie! Elvis and Cupid are on a Road Trip to South Padre Island to find Cupid's mother, Venus, who is hiding out amongst the mortals. Really, that's all you need to know. Anything else will spoil the story. Perhaps best of all: It's short! Click here for a sample!



"I'm really into this geek culture. I love it. I have strong opinions about all sorts of things that are, in fact, completely outside of my control, like every casting decision made in Hollywood. Got anything for me, Smarty Pants?"

You betcha! The Transformation of Lawrence Croft is tailor-made for you. Follow four super geeks as they make their way to MagicCon, a three-day comic and sci-fi convention in San Cibola. What could possibly go wrong, right? Plenty, is what. It's a romp through geek culture at the intersection of magic and make-believe. And it's also the first part of a trilogy of stories starring the four Con-Dorks.And if you like the first one, the second book, The Chance of a Lifetime, is also available. Click here for an excerpt!


"Well, I don't know about any of that. But I am curious about this mysterious story you just sold to Vertigo. What's that all about? Can we get a hint?"

I can't really give you a hint, since the book hasn't been announced or solicited yet. However, if you want to read something that's 100% in the wheelhouse of what I wrote, let me show you The Adventures of Sailor Tom Sharkey. This is a collection of historical weird humorous boxing stories written about real-life Golden Age boxer Tom Sharkey. These stories are very much in the tradition of Robert E. Howard's Sailor Steve Costigan stories, so if you like those, you'll probably like these, as well. Click here for a sneak peek!


"Robert E. Howard? Now you're talking. Aren't you supposed to be some kind of Robert E. Howard expert or something like that?"

Yeah, something like that. Here's the biography of Robert E. Howard that I wrote. It's called Blood & Thunder: the Life and Art of Robert E. Howard. If you like biographies of literary people mixed with Texas history, then you'll enjoy this book. It's probably what I'm best known for, and a number of people have read it who were not fans of Howard or his writings who said they enjoyed it a great deal. It moves fast, and has a lot of information packed into it. The book was nominated for several awards when it came out. This is the updated and expanded second edition. Click here for a sample!

"Yeah, so, none of that's really working for me. Anything else you want to show me, Mister Writer Guy? Or can I go play with my dog, now?"

Boy, you're a tough nut to crack. Why don't you just head on over to my Amazon Author Page and browse the other things I've got listed there? I've got stories and essays and introductions in several books, and there's even a couple of comics for you to purchase if you want to go that route. For example, in The Apes of Wrath, I wrote an essay about the guys who play gorillas in the movies. It's a fun romp through that specialized world. And the rest of the book is really good, too! Fun Fact: Many of my books are also available as ebooks.


Granted, this isn't everything. I've got some projects in development, some stories which are scheduled to appear in books coming out later, and some novels in various stages of completion. If you'd like to keep up with me and you're not bored with Facebook, I've got an Author's Page you can follow. Optionally, you can find me over at Good Reads, where I am trying to be more active.  I'll keep on writing, if you keep on reading.

A Quick Update on the Publishing Side

Sorry this has been so quiet lately, but I have been forced to choose between finishing Replacement Gorilla and writing pithy, hilarious observations about racist squatters in other states and threatening the entrenched misogynists and sociopaths in the Geek Nation to within an inch of their lives if they don't shut up and bury their heads in the sand. Guess which wiser course of action won out?

Not that it hasn't been really tempting. It's like, life is throwing me these soft, slow, underhand pitches right over the middle of the plate, and I just want to belt them out of the park, but I've got stuff to do.

So, you may remember I had a plan to get all of my backlist out this year as publishing projects. Here's the updated link to my Amazon Author's Page, if you want to go swing by and check it out.

The most recent thing to get the CreateSpace treatment is Road Trip. I know, this has come out before, but I am moving it off of Lulu and onto CreateSpace, and then later, Kindle. This will be a special book, in that I'm going to give it away on Kindle. That's right, give it away. It's going to be my loss leader. I think it's a strong book, and a pretty good idea of what I write, and how. So, it's currently available as a paperback, and soon it'll get ebooked. Look for it, if you will.

Oh, hell, who am I kidding? On the day it's available for free, I'll tweet it and post it to the heavens. Please share, won't you?


This book is the first collection of stories from the San Cibola universe, and it's not the last, by half. I've gotten two reviews for Empty Hearts, for which I am very grateful. If you post a review and let me know about it, I'll send you a bonus story, "That Still Don't Make it Wight," as a thank you. How cool is that? It's currently live on Kindle, but I'm having the files redone because I didn't realize the Kindle format was so different. So, that's happening and should be updated by the first of May. I like the collection; I think there are some strong stories in the book.

Again, I'll let you know when the Kindle file is updated and repaired. I've got a hell of a learning curve on all of this.

Coming soon, in the next few weeks, look for two new books: A collection of the Sailor Tom Sharkey stories, published by Fight Card Books, and the first novel in the Con-Dorks Saga, the Transformation of Lawrence Croft. I'm actually going to put out all three Con-Dorks books in the trilogy (I can't believe I just typed that word--trilogy...it sounds so...author-ish.) as well as BOTH of the Sam Bowen books. Those of you who are TickWits will doubtless rejoice, leaving the rest of you to say, "So what?" Hopefully, you'll check it all out.

Some Unapologetic Hugo Ballot Campaigning

Yeah, I know what you're going to say: the Hugos are Broken, awards don't mean anything, it's not about winning something, my vote doesn't matter because of X,Y and Z, and insert-your-personal-complaint-here. I'm not going to debate any of what you just said.

But if the system can be gamed, then let's game it.

I'm not telling anyone what to do. But there are a lot of blanks on the Hugo Awards nomination ballot, and every year, I see stuff that I've never heard of, or seen, or experienced. Just once, I'd like to be in on that campaigning little clique. Note: I've not included every category below. If you attended last year, you may already have some thoughts on the matter. You may have already filled out your nomination ballot. The good news is this: you can revisit that ballot and add things. Yep. You really can. Go here: http://www.loncon3.org/nominations.php and do it. Here's the official website to the Hugos, as well: http://www.thehugoawards.org/ If you were in attendance at Lone Star Con 3 last year, you can nominate! See the Hugos website for other ways to participate.

Anyone who knows me and my interests will have no difficulty translating why I listed what I did. This is an attempt to load at least a couple of heroic fantasy works/things I care about/people who are no longer with us/my own shit onto a ballot that, despite the grand list of reasons why you shouldn't, (and despite the industry's ongoing struggle to catch up to the latter half of the twentieth century re: parity, gender issues, and POC problems) is still a going concern. I picked a few things that are of a heroic fantasy/sword and sorcery nature to highlight. Feel free to add more when you go vote. If you need a refresher, there's linkage below.

Best Short Story

TITLE                                                 AUTHOR                   PUBLISHER
"Timeout"                                            Neal Barrett, Jr.           Ray Guns OverTexas/FACT

                                                                                                           
"Defenders of Beeman County"         Aaron Allston               Ray Guns OverTexas/FACT

"Take a Left at the Cretaceous"          Mark Finn                     Ray Guns OverTexas/FACT

The good thing about the ballot is, you can put multiple things on it. So, that's nice!

Best Related Work

TITLE                                                 AUTHOR                   PUBLISHER

Blood  & Thunder:The Life               Mark Finn                   The Robert E. Howard Foundation Press

and Art of Robert E. Howard                                                                   

(2^nd edition trade paperback)

The first edition of Blood & Thunder garnered a World Fantasy nomination (not a win), and it would be nice if the second edition would at least capture a nomination. I have no doubt that few enough people have read the biography that are part of the Floating Temporary Permanent WorldCon Convention Staff and Attendees and would vote for it on the official ballot, but a nomination alone would allow the book to justifiably stay in print as a scholarly work. 
                                                                                 

Best Graphic Story

TITLE                                                 AUTHOR                               PUBLISHER

King Conan: Hour of the Dragon       Tim Truman                             Dark Horse Comics

Best Dramatic Presentation (Short Form)

TITLE                         CREATOR/WRITER/DIRECTOR               STUDIO/SERIES

“The Red Wedding”       Erin Gibson, Bradly Schulz            HBO/Game of Thrones

Best Editor (Short Form)

EDITOR

Rick Klaw                   RaygunsOver Texas

Rick has been doing this for a while, and doing right by the authors and artists he's worked with. He deserves a nomination.

Best Editor (Long Form)

EDITOR

Lou Anders                 PYR

Best Professional Artist

ARTIST

Tom Gianni                             RobertE. Howard Foundation Books

Best Fancast

TITLE                                     PERSONNEL

The Cromcast                          Josh Adkins, Luke Dodd, Jon Larson

13 Days Until Halloween

I've been pretty busy writing these Top 5 Lists lately, and so with 13 Days Until All Hallow's Eve, now is a good time to stop and recap for the season. Here's the full list, just in case you missed anything:

My Top 5 Favorite Movie Maniac Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Killer/Creepy Kid Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Devils and Demons Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Ghost Story Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Monster From Space Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Zombie Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Vampire Movies

My Top 5 Favorite Werewolf Movies

I've been researching old spook
shows lately. I'm thinking of
putting one on at the theater.

 You will notice it is far from complete. For example, I don't have any Mummy or Frankstein movies listed, and that's because I'm going to start working on a book in my spare time that will cover all of the above, and much more. The as-yet-unpublished lists will include things like Creatures From the Deep, Creatures on the Loose, Comedy-Horror, When Animals Attack, and a bunch of other, really specific lists, like the Top 5 Horror Movies that Need to be Remade, and the Top 5 Worse Horror Movie Remakes, and a bunch of other things like that. So, if you don't mind being patient with me, I'll drop some occasional lists in for your consideration, and we'll see about getting this booger published somewhere, okay?

And hey, as long as we're talking about it, if you think there are some Top 5 Lists I need to cover in this as-yet-untitled movie guide, please share them with me and if I use your topic as a list, I will include you in the acknowledgements in the book.

In the meantime, for those of you who like to build up to it, there's a lot of inspirational movie watching in the above lists to get you in the Halloween state of mind. Thanks to everyone who favorited, forwarded, or otherwise commented on these blog posts. We'll do it again soon!

My Top 5 Favorite Devils and Demons Movies

Possession and a loss of personal control, as I said earlier elsewhere in this series, are one of the things that most scares me in horror movies.  It’s no surprise, then, that I approach the subject of demon possession movies with some trepidation. I think with these movies, the phrase “Your Mileage May Vary” is terribly appropriate, because if you aren’t scared by these movies, or the ideas they contain, your list will be very different from mine.

Demons and devils in movies seem to be of two different varieties: The havoc-wreaking kind, and the possessing and controlling kind. There is frequent cross-over, too, as some uglies will possess a victim and then use that person to wreak havoc.

Curiously, there are very few “deal with the devil” movies, although that motif is still widespread in literature and short stories. I wonder why that is. I love those stories, myself. But these movies below kept me up at night, thinking and wondering, and concocting elaborate contingency plans for what to do if I ever come across a moldering old tome in a deserted cabin.

This is my WorldCon Schedule

It's a lot of stuff, but in my defense, a big chuck of it is all Robert E. Howard-related. The rest is a mix of groups, receptions, and clutches of things I've done with other people, and a few panels that have nothing to do with REH. Oh, and a beer session, a reading, and an autographing. Fair warning: I will be in huckster mode during this convention, in that I'll have stuff for sale and it'll likely be on me at all times. Nothing too expensive, mind you: the Tinglers are only two bucks a piece, for Pete's sake. Twelve dollars is the upper limit. So, I'm selling, but it's all AFFORDABLE, see?

Enough of that. Here's my schedule for WorldCon, and I'd appreciate any prayers or good vibes. I'm gonna need it to get through all of this!

The First Barbarian of Texas: Conan the Cimmerian

Thursday 12:00 - 13:00

For over 80 years, Conan has ruled the roost as the literary and pop culture definition of "barbarian." What makes Conan so popular in and out of the U.S., with readers and film-goers, and fans of all ages? Is his reign likely to continue into the 22nd century?

You Don't Know Jack about Bob: What's New in Robert E. Howard Studies

Thursday 13:00 - 14:00

If you read the Conan paperbacks in the 1970s and 1980s, but haven't checked out what's been going on in the wild world of Robert E. Howard since the Millennium, then you have missed out on a lot! In the last decade there have been new biographical discoveries, new authoritative editions of Howard's work, and so much more. Come get caught up with some noted experts.

The Apes of Wrath!

Thursday 15:00 - 16:00

Join Rick Klaw and his cadre of authors as they discuss the idea of a literary ape anthology and how it all came to be.

Reception & Readings: Rayguns Over Texas

Thursday 18:30 - 20:30

This reception is the launch of Rayguns Over Texas, a new anthology edited by Rick Klaw and published by the Fan Association of Central Texas. Note: This event will be held at the central branch of San Antonio Public Library.

Barbarian Days: Starring the BNFs of Howard Fandom

Friday 13:00 - 14:00

A warm-hearted documentary about the annual celebration of Robert E. Howard and the devoted fans who make the trip to Cross Plains, Texas, every year. Our film festival will be screening this film, followed by a discussion with the subjects of the documentary.

Two-Gun Bob: The Somewhat True Tales of Robert E. Howard

Friday 16:00 - 17:00

Writing a biography is an inexact science, and it's made all the more difficult when the subject in question was less than truthful about what they chose to tell other people about themselves. Four Robert E. Howard experts will shatter long-standing myths about Howard's life and talk about how they separate fact from fiction when writing about REH.

Literary Beer: Mark Finn, Jayme Lynn Blaschke

Saturday 15:00 - 16:00

Robert E. Howard: The Weird, West, and Worms

Saturday 17:00 - 18:00

Paper session. Jeffrey Shanks and Mark Finn, Independent Scholars, present "Vaqueros and Vampires: Robert E. Howard and the Genesis of the Weird Western." And Jeffrey Shanks, Independent Scholar, presents "Evolutionary Otherness: Anthropological Anxiety in Robert E. Howard's 'Worms of the Earth.'"

Gorillas in Science Fiction: The Encore Performance!

Saturday 19:00 - 20:00

You've heard about it for years! Now it's back for one final presentation you do not want to miss! There is no movie that cannot be made better by the judicious application of a gorilla. Examples abound, and you'll get a ringside seat when our panel discusses the best -- and the worst -- of simian cinema, and celebrate the 80th anniversary of the film that started it all, KING KONG!

The Wild, Weird, and Wonderful Westerns of Robert E. Howard

Sunday 13:00 - 14:00

At the end of his life, Robert E. Howard was making good money writing humorous, and also very dark, westerns. In fact, westerns abound all throughout Howard's short, intense career. Our panelists talk about everything from the hilarious Breckinridge Elkins series to the deadly earnest story, "Wild Water."

Reading: Mark Finn

Sunday 16:00 - 16:30

Robert E. Howard at the Ice House

Sunday 18:00 - 19:00

Howard was an amateur boxer, and wrote mountains of boxing stories. No kidding! Here's a rare opportunity to hear about the boxing canon of Robert E. Howard from the editors of the FOUR VOLUME series currently being published by the Robert E. Howard Foundation Press. Warning: attending this panel may cause an outburst of laughter, followed by a burning desire to read Howard's boxing stories.

Comic Book Movies: From the Page to the Screen

Monday 10:00 - 11:00

There have been more comic book movies in the past decade than in the entire 20th century combined. How do they hold up? What are the best and the worst examples of a successful transition? Our panelists draw comparisons (and maybe even blood)!

Autographing: Yasser Bahjatt, Mark Finn, Susan Krinard, Walter John WIlliams

Monday 13:00 - 14:00

What Am I Bringing to WorldCon?

What an excellent question. I'll be in San Antonio, Texas, for a full week, and if I'm not loading or unloading enough stuff for a whole exhibit (see below), I'll be running around like a goon, from panel to panel. There will be eating and drinking, for sure, but over the years, I've gotten pretty good at knowing my limits and packing accordingly. Like many preppers, I too have a pre-built bag that I throw in the car with me at a moment's notice. The main difference is that I'm actually going to USE all of the things in my bag, because it's set up for a big-ass convention and not the Zombie Apocalypse...even if those two things have an awful lot in common.

I will likely be adding to this list, but for now, here's what my punch card looks like:

LUGGAGE:
This is important. For some reason, the con staff prefers that I wear pants. Pfft. Whatever.
--Peripherals (laptop, Ipad, smart phone)
--Extra socks
--Extra T shirts (it WILL be hotter than a kiln in San Antonio)
--bathing suit (in case I get a chance to hit the hot tub)
--toiletries (normal sized ones, at that)

TRAPPINGS OF THE PROFESSION:
This is also important. Thanks to the trusty Ipad, I can use it as a second brain.
--all of my readings on the Ipad
--extra business cards (I treat these like ninja stars and fling them in clusters)
--extra pens (both gel and sharpie, because you never know what people are going to ask you to sign. I once had John Hollis, a lovely British character actor who played Lobot in The Empire Strikes Back, sign the side of my head. One day, I hope to sign the side of someone's head. And so, the Sharpie.)
--traveling cables for cell phone, Ipad, and laptop
--a flask (for the necessary sips of adult beverages throughout the day)
--My Copy of Lone Star Universe (so I can get T.R. Fehrenbach to sign it. He's showing up for a panel on Alternate History Alamo stories. Genius!)

SURVIVAL:
Over the years, this part of the kit has gotten bigger and bigger. When I was sixteen, it simply said "Masking Tape." Now it's a separate shopping list.
--moleskin (for blisters)
--breath strips (con food is disgusting)
--Aspirin (no explanation necessary)
--Alka-Seltzer (see above)
--NyQuil (to offset Convention Crud--and also, to knock me out)
--energy bars, high in protein (for between panel boosts)
--multi-vitamins ("for men" which is code for "the prostate.")
--EmergenC (you know, that fizzy stuff that you gulp down with water?)
--a refillable Nalgene Water Bottle (critical to survival)
--Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges (because, let's face it, I'm a talker)

CURATING:
I'm in charge of the Robert E. Howard exhibit in the main hall. It's flattering to be asked, but the amount of stuff I'm driving to San Antonio is starting to overwhelm me. This will include:
--select items from the REH collection at the Cross Plains Library
--select items from the vaults of Paradox Entertainment
--select items from my personal collection
--select items courtesy of Dark Horse Comics
--a plastic warhammer (I don't want to get rough with any of you, but still...)
--at least one bottle of special libations to be shared as the weekend unfolds


LOOT:
There will be Mark Finn related merchandise on hand at WorldCon. The 2nd edition trade paperback version of Blood & Thunder will debut there at the REH Foundation Press table, and at a reasonable price, in case any of you would like to see the new book. Joe Lansdale, who wrote the introduction to the book, will be onhand as well, so you can get both of our illegible scribbles on your book. 

Also premiering at WorldCon is Ray Guns Over Texas, an anthology of Texas science fiction edited by Rick Klaw, and I just so happen to have a story in that book for your edification.

Some of the dealers will no doubt have copies of the other books I've done for Dark Horse, Wildside Press, Monkeybrain Books, and others. But if you're coming to see me, it's best to bring copies of what you own, if only so that you can embarrass me.

Here's the Exclusive loot:

-- a few copies of Road Trip, my Cupid and Elvis novella (I'm very fond of that story) This is the "director's cut" edition, with slight changes and corrections. $12 each.

--36 signed and numbered copies of On:REH, "a miscelleny of ideas, observations and tomfoolery from author, essayist and raconteur Mark Finn. Learn exactly what REHupa is, and marvel at its complicated (and improbable) history with Finn pulling all of the strings; find out what happens to authors after they die; get a front row seat at The Last Book Sale; take a ride with Sailor Tom Sharkey and Kid McCoy to El Paso, Texas, and more!" It's a one of a kind item that will not be reprinted and it's exclusive to WorldCon.  Only $10 a copy!

--Tingler Larvae (you heard me. Tinglers. As in, Tinglers. Play your cards right, and I'll include some Blast-Ended Skrewt eggs, too)


As soon as I know what my schedule is, I'll post it next.

"I Had No Idea he was a Racist Douchebag"

We just had a fan quit Robert E. Howard studies today. This person, who identified themselves only as "Red Dragon" on Facebook, announced their intention with that above line, and followed it with a short checklist of what was to come next. All of their books were to be binned, and they would unsubscribe from all of the REH lists that they were on. "I will seriously have sold my conan stuff by tomorrow and will never read another thing by him again," Red Dragon posted. Older, wiser heads attempted to prevail, but Red Dragon was presumably already long gone.

Now, I don't know anything about this person other than the fact that their picture on FaceBook was that of a woman, with blonde hair, maybe twenty-five to thirty. I make no assumptions as to if Red Dragon was truly a woman or a G.I.R.L. (Guy in Real Life). This is the Internet. Anything is possible.

But I do want to use this example to point out something: Here was a person, attracted to the writings of a long-dead author, so much so that they bought a pile of books, read them all, and jumped online and joined a number of fan groups, Facebook pages, and participated in discussions. I'd consider that to be fairly typical fan behavior, certainly well within the bounds of reason.

I don't know what Red Dragon ran across that made this sudden change happen--the popular supposition is that they read part of a discussion about a story Howard wrote when he was still a teenager called "The Last White Man." It's a bit of unpublished juvenilia about, well, you can guess what it's about. It was written in response to a letter penned by one of Howard's close, personal friends--a person who was, himself, a member of an organization that was active in the persecution of African-Americans. The story was not published in Howard's lifetime, and in fact, the only reason it was published at all was for the sake of completeness. Another gem from Howard's school days was "A Boy, A Beehive, and a Chinaman." So, you know, that's the thinking of a young Robert E. Howard, right there.

I want to say something, but it won't change anyone's mind. I'm a native Texan, and I'm over forty. This makes me the enemy in the eyes of the younger generations. But I want to walk carefully through this anyway, because it's taken me a while to get to this particular place. Maybe my journey will be of some use to someone out there. Maybe.

I think the thing that bothers me the most about Red Dragon's sudden reversal was that there was no attempt to square the things that originally attracted Red Dragon to Howard's writing, so much so that they would seek out other like-minded people, and the story in question that they heard about in an online conversation. Red Dragon basically threw Howard under the bus with the revelation that he wrote "the Last White Man." Granted, it's not Howard's finest hour, and I wouldn't recommend the story to, well, anyone--and I say that having written charitably a half million words on Howard in the last fifteen years. But this was clearly not something that Red Dragon had picked up on prior to their  declaration, and for one very likely reason: that's not the takeaway message from Robert E. Howard's work.

Oh, the Internet will tell you differently, to be sure. There are a few blog posts out there by folks who started reading Conan and were drawn up short by this monstrous, over-arching racism--or words to that effect. And then they'd blog about what a terrible person Robert E. Howard is. As if he was the first person in fantasy to write about different cultures in an insensitive way. Conan, Solomon Kane, and other stories about other characters--all racist. It's right there. It's repulsive. They just couldn't get through it.

I'm not going to defend the position that Howard isn't a racist. Partially because I think the word "racist" has come to mean something very different than what Funk and Wagnalls will tell you. I think "racist" in modern day language is another word for "outcast" or "pariah." It's verbal leprosy. Someone who is a racist is someone to be shunned, for fear that their disease, their poison, seep into your ears and eyes and rot your brain and turn you into one of them. This notion of the power of speech, or the printed word, is a new thing, I think, and certainly bears discussion somewhere else. But more to the point, "racist" implies that there's an active component in place; a willful need to infect others in a way that is impossible to defend against, like a zombie pathogen.

I won't lambast the younger generation for a lack of critical thinking skills, because that would be showing my age. But I will lambast the generation ahead of me for setting up this idea of "Political Correctness" that has led to a kind of intolerance for anything that is deemed offensive or hurtful to another person, regardless of context, meaning, and intent. Enough about that. We were talking about Robert E. Howard.

Here are some facts: Howard employed language which was well within societal norms in the 1920s and 1930s, but is certainly not appropriate now. Howard wrote about a variety of races and peoples and ethnicities, mostly in his fantasy stories, but also in a number of historical adventures. He used language that was stereotypical, and occasionally derogatory, when talking about these people. Sometimes, they were heroes. Sometimes they were sympathetically portrayed. Sometimes they were the bad guys. In a few cases, Howard wrote recurring characters of color. These characters and descriptions were based almost entirely on what he read in the pulps, and what books he was able to get his hands on. Some of those books were ten, fifteen, twenty years out of date. Other books were fictions by Rudyard Kipling, Mark Twain, and other classic authors. Many of the pulps he read features stories set in other countries and time periods, and these pulps also published articles and letters about foreign countries and conflicts. So, for a guy who was landlocked in Central Texas, he did the best he could do.

The other reason why I won't defend the charge of racism is because, in the context of his time and place, Howard was, in fact, a racist. And so was your grandfather. And your great grandfather. And Rudyard Kipling. And Joseph Conrad. And Jack London. And Woodrow Wilson. And just about anyone born prior to 1960 in America. Institutional racism was in full swing, especially in Texas. Separate bathrooms, lynchings, you name it. It was all out there, if not in the wide open, at least tacitly understood. There are just some places you don't go; there are just some people you don't talk to. Granted, every community was different, but by and large, people of color who were a part of a mostly white community were included as exceptions rather than as a rule.  This was the world your grandparents grew up in, by the way. Yes, them, too.

Did Howard know any black people? Sure, a few. He knew a few Hispanics, a Jewish man, and saw and observed Italians, Chinese, and other immigrants in his travels to places like New Orleans and San Antonio. Some of his descriptions were drawn whole cloth from his experiences, or from letters he wrote to correspondents like H.P. Lovecraft, who was himself a xenophobe and a monstrous bigot.

None of this was known to me when I first discovered Robert E. Howard's Conan, coming out of comics and Dungeons and Dragons. There were some folks in the Conan stories who were freed slaves, and there were black, yellow, olive, dusky, and fair skinned people in Conan's world, and they were good, or bad, or rulers, or cowardly dogs, depending on which side of Conan's sword they were on. You can call it white blindness on my part, but I never read Howard's descriptions of ebony skinned cannibals and assumed that Howard was talking about all black men. In fact, it's pretty clear in the story that it's this one city and not everyone in the region. I always liked it when N'Longa, the witch doctor, showed up in the Solomon Kane stories. He was a very different person--on purpose--from straightlaced Puritan Solomon Kane himself. N'Longa gives Kane a Ju-Ju staff, which proves to be a useful magic item in Kane's arsenal against the dark forces. This is heathen magic that the Puritan supposedly has no truck with, and yet, they formed an alliance against monsters.

This was a common pairing in Howard's stories, from Kull and Brule the Spear-Slayer to the unlikely friendships found in Howard's historical tales of the Crusades, and the El Borak stories. A white, if not implicitly W.A.S.P. man, befriends or joins forces with a non-white character for fortune, glory, survival, or friendship. Sometimes it's the end result. Sometimes it's the motive for the story.

Yes, the Africans are "wooly headed." Yes, the Shemite has a hooked nose. I know, I know. That's bad. It's a sloppy shortcut. I won't defend it. Mostly.

It's stereotypical. It's stereotyping. And while it's today considered, well, stereotyping, back in all of popular culture--books, magazines, newspapers, the radio, comics--every media in existence prior to 1945, this was accepted. It was okay, even encouraged, to make these short, sharp descriptors and even judgements about people of other ethnicities than your own. All Irish were hot tempered fighters. All Jewish people were thrifty and shrewd with money. All Italians were overly amorous.  All French people were snobs. All Swedes were big and stupid. These weren't seen as detriments, but rather simplified ways of communicating a set of cultural values and general set of traits at a time when immigration had literally flooded America with millions of people from all over the world. These folks were trying to fit in, and any chance they had to "become Americans," they took. Right up to and including laughing at themselves. Stereotyping was employed by vitually every comedian from the age of Vaudeville up through the rise of radio and later, Television. Many of these comedians moved from medium to medium with their same act, nearly unchanged for forty years.

Jack Benny, a legendary Jewish comedian (who employed a black piano player named Rochester, who spoke in a gruff parody of southern black speech himself) had a very famous bit from his radio show. He's held up at gunpoint by a mugger one evening, who says, "Your money or your life." After a pause, the gunman says, "Well?" and Benny, in his trademark exasperated fashion, says "I'm thinking it over!" One of the recordings online has the audience laughing as soon as the mugger says "Your money or your life." They know Jack Benny, and it's already funny to think that he'd be put in a situation where he has to choose something he values more than his wealth. Stereotypical Jewish behavior, rewritten as a very funny one-liner.

So, I'll cop to it on my part: I never saw what others saw in some of Howard's stories. Not until I got to "Pigeons From Hell" as a teenager, when I first encountered the word "nigger" in the story, did I stop and think about what was going on. After all, that was a word that was forbidden in my house. Well, unless my grandfather said it. Or my father. But anyway. I had to suddenly walk through the time and place of the story and ask myself, "Would a sheriff use that word in casual conversation? In 1936?" And of course, the answer was yes. Yes, he would have. Doesn't mean it's not an ugly word, and while it was certainly a stumbling block, I picked the narrative back up and soldiered on.

The stereotyping was lost on me in the Conan stories. No one likes anyone in the Conan stories. Each country is at war with other countries. People from the Southern kingdoms hate people from the Northern kingdoms. No one has a flattering thing to say about anyone. But that's not the takeaway point of Conan.

N'Longa talks much like the stereotypical educated native to Solomon Kane, and he's definitely what Spike Lee calls a "Magical Negro" in literal, if not figurative, terms. But that's not the takeaway point of Solomon Kane.

Reading "The Ghost of Tom Molyneaux," it's obvious that Ace Jessel speaks in a dialect lifted straight from Huckleberry Finn, if not Uncle Tom's Cabin. It's uncomfortable to read, but that's not the takeaway from any of the boxing stories Howard wrote.

Howard wrote about conflict, often between two cultures, and the sometimes exceptional men that arise from a life built around conflict. Roman or Pict, Moor or Turk, Gael or Dane, and yeah, even White or Black, Howard's message was about overcoming impossible odds, never giving up, never admitting defeat. Howard wrote about the struggle between good and evil, right and wrong, morality and scruples. He wrote about the character of masculinity--in other words, what makes a man. Interestingly, he also wrote a few stories about what makes a woman in a man's world, too. He wrote about the differences between civilization and barbarism and how blurred the line between them sometimes was.

That's what I see when I read Robert E. Howard's work, laid bare. And I know I'm not the only one because he's got millions of fans all over the world who see pretty much the same things. This in no way excuses the stereotyping, or some of the things he said to his friends. But as a reader with critical faculties in place, I think considering when and where he did his writing, it more than mitigates it.

Time and place have to mitigate content. Otherwise, we couldn't read Joseph Conrad, Jack London, Shakespeare, Mark Twain, or anyone else born before 1945. But, then again, there's a copy of Huckleberry Finn floating around right now with nary and N-Bomb in sight, so what do I know?

This is new thinking. I'm pretty sure the kids these days (those in high school and college) aren't willingly reading Conrad, London, Hemingway, or any of the other old, dead, white-guy authors that were "racist douchebags." I don't know when that particular attitude of condemnation for anything that doesn't conform to ones' own internal barometer of taste sprang up, but I suspect it's got something to do with the inflated sense of entitlement and the utter lack of empathy that seems to be all the rage amongst today's hard-wired mall rats.

In the end, there is only the author's work, and the reader's relationship to it. I'm capable of cutting authors some slack when I read their dated works, but then again, I'm a doughy, pasty white guy. Technically, I'm "part of the problem." If you, as a reader, find something so objectionable in a book that it makes you fly into a rage, well, that's your journey, and who am I to say different? I've read some singularly distasteful things in my life--one that springs instantly to mind involves a rape that takes place in a Philip Jose Farmer novel called Lord Tyger. It made me uncomfortable. But after reading it, it didn't turn me into a rapist.

I've read books where the characters are utterly despicable, and say horrible things to and about other characters in the book. Reading those things brought out a number of reactions in me, but they didn't make me into a despicable person. They were just words. Fictional stories, full of words, at that. If they brought out an emotion from me, then the story did its job. Is that not the primary function of art?

Maybe instead of trying to bring the next generation of fans to Robert E. Howard, we need to be waving them off. If reading a word in a story is going to cause them to freak out and rage-quit the author, then that's more flailing about that we don't need. In the past, we've tried to put our best foot forward. We've tried to show critical examinations from both sides of a particular issue. If none of that matters because, well, he was a "racist douchebag," then why waste of of my time and effort? How can someone learn anything knew when they know everything already?

I don't have any answers. If you've read to the end of this very long post, and feel like discussing, have at it.

Raiders of the Lost Ark Made Me This Way...

Over the years, I've tried, unsuccessfully, to explain to folks just how important and influential a film Raiders of the Lost Ark was for me. It dropped into my wheelhouse as I was turning the corner on adolescence, at a time when there was no Internet, no Netflix, no YouTube, none of that crap. If you wanted to know more about any given subject, you had to read about it. In books, or magazines--Thank God for Starlog!

As a 12 year old male, Raiders forever altered my course in ways that I've noted over the years, but until you sit down and start trying to backtrack your influences, you don't realize what a tangled mess it all is. I specifically and deliberately stopped when I got to large topics--either existing interests, or newly discovered interests, as they each lead to other branching charts. That's how I was back then (okay, still am)...when I get interested in something, I want to know everything! So, in the case of Raiders, specifically, I watched the television special about the stuntmen who worked on the film, and I read every interview I could find with Spielberg, Lucas, and Lawrence Kasdan. I read the novelization. I collected magazines, bubble gum cards--anything I could get my hands on that had behind-the-scenes information that I could use to decode the formula of how someone could come up with a modern-day whip wielding archeologist who fought Nazis and played with monkeys. You can see how that would appeal to just about anyone, right?

And don't get me started on the my film theory that Raiders is the first post-modern film--a movie about a type of movie, rather than the movie as genre unto itself. I submit to you that because we had Raiders of the Lost Ark, we also got Kill Bill, Inglorious Basterds, and now Django Unchained. I'll go into it later, one of these days, when I have the time. But it's a great theory and it explains why the first film is so very different from the three sequels, and how that happened.

For decades, I've tried to explain it to people, and they would just nod, politely, and reply, "Well, MY favorite movie is blah-blah-blah." No, you don't GET it, I've thought more about this film and its antecedents and influences than I have any other film including Star Wars.  It's not my favorite movie because, well, I just like it, and stuff. It's a part of my creative DNA in ways that still resonate with me to this day.

Because of RotLA, I created "The Blue Menace Mysteries" courtesy of the Violet Crown Radio Players.  Sam Bowen from Clockwork Storybook owes SO MUCH to Indiana Jones. Every 1930s pulp-era Role-Playing Game session I ever ran was informed by the way Lawrence Kasdan chose to write the screenplay to RotLA.

I made this flowchart so you could really see and understand. It's not my fault I'm like this. Raiders of the Lost Ark made me this way...

Here's the chart at full size. Enjoy! The Chart, Full Sized