The Aurora Colorado Shooting and My Thoughts On It

I don't need to tell anyone what a horrific and senseless act this was. I was shocked to hear it, and the scant facts that have emerged in the past forty-eight hours have done nothing to make me feel any less betrayed, upset, and strangely violated by what happened.

I'm just sick that this took place in a movie theater. Not because I own a movie theater myself (well, okay, a little bit, yeah), but because it feels like someone has desecrated one of the last sacred spaces left to us. One of the only places where we can let our guards down and dream and push the world and all of its lunacy aside for a couple of hours.

Hot on the heels of this have come the 24-hour new cycle's ubiquitous and likewise ridiculous speculation that violent movies, video games, black trenchcoats, and red hair dye were somehow the cause of this kid's actions. Not a word said about the fact that the shooter is clearly not entirely human (and I mean that in terms of development, not dna). It's inarguable that he's missing some programming, that it's either chemical in nature, or he's just been screwy and sociopathic for years and no one ever caught it. It wouldn't be the first time crazy slipped past our radar, would it?

But with no answers in sight, the old familiar bugbears and chestnuts are trotted out. Violence in the movies, video games, and an oldie but a goodie--comic books. Good Lord, what next? Gum in our schools?

San Diego Stories: Thursday

This year, I shared a room with one of my oldest, closest friends, and two perfect strangers. Thankfully, the two people we didn't know turned out to be excellent traveling companions and roommates. If only we weren't packed in like sardines, it would have been very pleasant. When our fourth showed up, we tried to get a rollaway bed for our room. "We're all out," they informed me.

Well, do you have a cancellation on a room, perhaps?

"Oh no," the lady said. "We no have cancellations. It's Comics-Con," she said.

I know it is, I assured her. But sometimes, people's plans change, and it's not like the Best Western Bay Side Hotel is particularly close to the action or anything. So, if something should open up...

"But we no have any openings," she said again. "It's Comics-Con."

I thanked her for not being able to help me at all, and asked myself how bad could it be? Hotel rooms aren't for anything but sleeping during Comic-Con, and so we sallied forth for breakfast and then made for the convention center.

The Bayside Hilton, whoring itself out to a television show.

It's difficult to accurately describe the size and scope of this show. It's probably easiest to compare it to some of the spectacle of Las Vegas, but even that falls a little short, mostly because Vegas was built for it and San Diego just wasn't.

See, the show has totally outgrown the convention center. They doubled the size of the place, back in the mid-nineties, when Hollywood first started sniffing around the convention. Since then, it's spilled out into the Gaslamp, across the street, and into two adjacent hotels. And it's packed to the gills again. The citizenry of San Diego, according to one local I spoke to, is contemplating adding onto the convention center--again. Since there's not a scrap of land left to develop, this would mean going out into the bay or something. I don't know how they'd do it.

Thursday is officially Day One of the show, and it's the most sparsely attended, as if anyone can tell the difference. I mean, I'm a people person, and I don't fear crowds, or get stage fright, or anything like that, but when the numbers start creeping up around 100,000, I just shut down. I'm only so entertaining, you know. I'm not Bon Jovi.

As exhibitors, we got in before the masses, to set up our tables. This didn't take long, and so I wandered around to inspect the floor before the chaos. It was nice, until the loud, booming, animatronic voice admonished me to get back to my booth, because traffic in the aisles would delay the opening of the floor. Everyone there was pointedly ignoring the voice, because we all knew damn well that as soon as the floor opened, we'd all be trapped behind our booths until the bell sounded some ten hours later and this was our one and only chance to snap a picture of some statue or booth before the crowds pressed in and tried to kill us all.

I tried to do one fun or fannish thing a day, which was actually pretty difficult to do. I made the conscious decision to watch the Assassin's Creed III presentation, for a couple of reasons: I wanted to see the game footage, of course, and also I wanted to see how they were presenting the material. In other words, what was their dog and pony show like over at Ubisoft.

Well, I learned a couple of things right away: these big entertainment companies, whether we're talking about a movie studio or a game studio, are less interested in meeting the end consumer and more interested in delivering their sales pitch. Whether that pitch is in the form of a cheap-ass t-shirt, or a blow up vinyl tomahawk (the new weapon du jour in Assassin's Creed III), these folks don't want your feedback. They want you out on the floor, wearing the shirt, flaunting the tomahawk, and in general being good little corporate shills for the mothership.

That said, the game footage I watched was really impressive. The people working the booth were friendly and excited and pleasant and ridiculously on-script at all times. These out of work actors from L.A. and other parts of California were only too happy to say their lines and hand out the gewgaws, and that above statement could be applied to literally every other company just like Ubisoft that was on the floor.

Some of these companies had crow's nests where some of the executives could sit above the fracas, looking out over the floor, and not have to mix with the rabble in any way. I found that particularly insulting. Either be here, at the show, or don't. If you're that freaked out by the unwashed masses, then maybe you need to stick to Internet marketing.

On the plus side: there were a variety of cosplayers dressed as Altair and Enzio (from the game). I walked by one of them and said, clearly in her direction: "Nothing is true." She let me get three steps ahead of her and replied, "Everything is permitted." I gave her the high sign and we went our separate ways. I tried it with a few other cosplayers, but no one else took the bait.

My ArmadilloCon Schedule

This year, they are apparently taking it easy on me, but that doesn't mean I won't give YOU, the faithful attendees of Austin's premier literary SF convention, the full meal deal at all of my various and sundry engagements. See below for a list of where I'll be, and when. Stalking is encouraged. Autographs and photo opportunities abound. Please, no groping.

            Apes and Zeppelins  Fri 9:00 PM-10:00 PM Trinity

C. Brown, B. Crider, S. Cupp, M. Finn*, R. Klaw, J. Lansdale, J. Nevins, D. Webb

Last year Joe Lansdale tossed down the gauntlet at the Apes in SF panel, challenging all comers to produce a story worthy of a classic cover from Zeppelin Tales: "The Gorilla of the Gasbags". Our valiant panelists discuss their responses.

            April Fools! Sat Noon-1:00 PM San Marcos

B. Denton, G. Faust, M. Finn, L. Person*, D. Webb

Favorite prank announcements from writers and publishers. Our panel may suggest some for the future...

            Reading  Sat 2:30 PM-3:00 PM Pecos  Mark Finn

            Signing Sat 4:00 PM-5:00 PM Dealers' Room

B. Crider, S. Cupp, M. Finn, R. Klaw, D. Webb

            Fannish Feud Sat 5:00 PM-6:00 PM Trinity

F. Duarte, B. Parker, S. Bobo, M. Finn*, S. Lynch

            Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Live Theater: Sat 6:00 PM-7:00 PM Trinity

M. Finn*, L. Gorinsky, T. Mallory, M. Maresca, J. Neulander,

The history and challenges of live productions (theater and radio), for either SF or fantasy. Our panel discusses of radio productions and stage recreations, fan & semi-pro theater at conventions, SF&F movies that crossed to or from stage, and the special challenges of live theater for the genre.

San Diego Stories: Wednesday Night

Preview Night is Wednesday night, and it is the only real time you have a chance to walk around, unmolested, and actually see stuff. This is especially true if you're an exhibitor, because once the show starts, you're trapped at your booth until they say otherwise. So, as you can imagine, everyone in the room was running hither and thither trying to snap pictures, talk to a creator, or get something signed while they could.

That's how I ended up in line for Darwyn Cooke's newest release from IDW, The Score.  This is the third adaptation of Richard Stark's brilliant crime series featuring the enigmatic and pragmatic Parker. It's possible you don't know what I'm talking about, so get thee over to the excellent website, The Violent World of Parker, and read Darwyn's interview with the guys. It's worth doing.

In any case, I spent about an hour and a half in line to meet the man, and I was one of the last ones actually in line, to boot. The last time I waited that long in a line to meet someone at a convention was Joe Kubert. So, yeah, I don't normally do that kind of thing. I just don't. But it was well worth it to me, just to get a little face time with Darwyn and shake his hand and thank him for doing the book. He drew a little Parker profile in my book, too; it's maybe eleven connected lines and it's perfect.

While in line, I got to have a couple of cool conversations with the two guys on either side of me in the line. You do that at San Diego, a lot. I ran into Joseph McCabe, an old friend and fellow writer. We shot the bull for a while until he was allowed to surreptitiously cut the line with me, and so all was right with the world. Joe was the first of many people I'd run into over the next five days that I've not seen in years.

Between the guys with me in line and Joe, I was almost able to deal with the guy taking photographs of the toys in one of the cases set up by an IDW affiliate. The resin statues were striking and wonderful and expensive, and none of this is in dispute. But this chucklehead with his camera insisted on taking multiple--dozens, really--of photos of each model from every angle he could get at. And between his camera bag, the rig he was shooting with, his haversack, and his constant squatting and shifting, he was completely disrupting the line. It was clear that he had no intention of buying anything, but reacted to anyone trying to work around him as if his picture taking was the most important thing in the world.

Truthfully, I felt sorry for the affiliate creators. They were, from the looks of things, concept artists, and while we were all politely checking out their table stuff as we were trapped into doing so, none of us were there for that. Occasionally some fan would try to wedge his way through us, and we were pretty shitty to them. One guy asked if we were in line for those creators and I replied, "Naw, we're all getting the same tattoo." He laughed, and moved around to the other side. Irritating for all, sure, but by no means the most untenable thing at the convention. Nearly every booth had some kind of traffic flow problem and there wasn't really anything to be done about it. Welcome to San Diego.


Whilst milling around, I also ran into Chris Roberson and Allison Baker, Chris Cox, Martin Thomas, Kerry Gammill, and Shannon Wheeler. It really felt like a family reunion. I forget sometimes how many people I actually know in the comics industry, until I see them all in San Diego.

Dispelling a few Myths about Comic-Con International

I've not attended San Diego Comic-Con every year, but I have seen it when it was approximately one-fourth its current size and focused mainly on comic books--you know, those things that they keep making zillion dollar movies out of? Over the last twenty five years, I've watched Comic-Con morph into something that has completely and totally outgrown itself to the point that it no longer really is the thing it purports to be. I may follow that cryptic utterance up later, but for now, I just wanted to tip over a few sacred cows for those of you who still have any allusions about what this annual show is or the function it serves.


"Going to Comic-Con is going to be my big break!"

Maybe twenty five or thirty years ago, but not now. Oh, there's some portfolio review that takes place, sure, and if you're REALLY, REALLY GOOD, and you are not from this country so you don't have a real sense of what everyone else makes, you might just get hired. Maybe. If you're lucky.

But meeting an editor? Forget it. Schmooze a publisher? You wish. It doesn't happen. Not on the fan level, not anymore. The show is too big, and everyone is too busy just dealing with the people, the booth, the presentation, etc. It's a real chore. If you can get into one of the after hours parties, people don't want to talk business. They want a break from it. So, good luck with that pitch you were planning on delivering. It's social suicide.

What you CAN do is make a contact. Exchange business cards. But you'll have to massage that contact after the show, over time, at smaller venues. No one gets hired on the Comic-Con floor. Uneless, you know, they suddenly do.

"Dude, let's film a documentary of Comic-Con and put it on YouTube! We'll be Internet Famous!"

Yeah, you and literally every sixth person at the show. There's more news media here, covering the convention in minute detail, than normally shows up for a Branch Davidian Massacre. Coverage? This isn't the Skull and Bones Initiation Ceremony, here. It's one giant press release after another. It's transparent, it's so covered. All you're going to do with your very impressive camera rig is cause massive log jams in the walkways wherever you go, and wear your shoulder out in the process. Leave the documentary to real filmmakers.


"This is my chance to talk to (Fill in the blank celebrity who means so much to me)!"

If you like comic book creators, then yes. If you want to spend thirty bucks on a color photo of Erin Gray for her to sign for you, then yes. But that's about the limit of your interaction. The comic and book people at the show are grateful for their audience showing up and talking to them. It's needed and necessary. But understand this: you will not get to go to dinner with Felicia Day. You won't "bump into" Nathan Fillian and become besties. You MAY see comedians and other somewhat famous celebrities in the crowd, but they will be shopping, and they will actively act like they don't see you, so that they can buy the new Sideshow Toys action figure or Darwin Cooke Parker graphic novel like a regular geek. It's what it is.

And it's not just the celebrities, either. All of the big movie companies are here, promoting their films. All of the big video game studios are here, too, doing the same thing. But here's the deal: the people at the booth are hired marketing people. They aren't connected with the studio in any way. You won't get to meet Sly Stallone, even though he's got a vested interest in you seeing The Expendables II. Likewise, you won't meet any developers for Activision, or Ubisoft. Just the people giving out free swag. And speaking of free swag:

"Look at all of the Cool Loot you can score at Comic-Con!"

Ah, yes, the loot. It falls into two categories: Convention exclusives that cost two-to-three times what normal toys, comics, and posters would normally cost.  This is usually advertised in advance, and you can sometimes pre-order it and pick it up at the show. Mostly, though, you'll be in a lottery drawing for what time you can come back and shop--and you just hope they don't run out.

The other category of loot is the cheap, plastic disposable crap that has a movie logo imprinted on it, or a show's tag line. Today I saw a line stretched across two aisles and around four more--all to pick up a tote bag and a sharpie. That's right. A tote bag. And a sharpie marker. Granted, the sharpie marker had a logo imprinted on the side, but we're not talking about the crown jewels, here. If you DO find some unique item--a blow up sword, a punch out hat, or something else of that nature, you won't be the only one with it. They made 50,000 of them. And the people brandishing them successfully spend about an hour in line to obtain them.

These are common pitfalls to avoid. I mean, if you really LIKE something that they are giving away for free, by all means, get in line. Or spend that money. The Mattel Avengers Helicarrier that will display all of your Marvel Universe figures will set you back $140 bucks. It's over four feet long, and the box is enormous. Good luck getting it on the plane. But that's part of what makes Comic-Con so unique, is that you can in fact score the right thing at the right time.

But you can't do everything. And dispel all of those illusions. It's a giant, enormous ad. And if you come here, you're a willing participant. You have been warned. 

Random San Diego Thoughts, part 1

I finally got to meet Darwin Cooke. We talked a little bit about Donald Westlake and he told me that he's going to adapt "Butcher's Moon." I nearly passed out. Nine out of ten of you won't know what the hell that means, but the one in ten of you who just yelled out loud--yeah, I know, right?

I'm stunned at the number of people I run into that I know--in these huge crowds--of all places. It's one of the little joys of San Diego for me that I get to have all of these mini-reunions with folks.

I cannot get over how big this show is now. I consistently underestimate it. But I have a signing tomorrow, so that'll be interesting. I'm also cataloging the different types of people in the Comic-Con crowd. Look for that later. For now, though, sleep. It's been a long day, most of which was just getting here. Tomorrow, I'll be more lucid.

It's my first SoonerCon...Be Gentle With Me, Ok?

Hah! Did you see what I did, there? A pun in the title, and I'm not even talking about the convention yet! Boom!

Okay, so, yeah.

This weekend I'll be at SoonerCon 21 along with Michael Golden, Peter S. Beagle, Eric Flint, and several hundred close personal friends, including A. Lee Martinez, Brad Denton, Caroline Specter, Ethan Nahte, Adrian Simmons, Rhonda Eudaley, and many others who I am surely forgetting at the moment.

I've never conventioned in Oklahoma, nor stayed there for more than twelve hours. Oklahoma City is, in fact, a lovely town, with lots to offer. It's definitely an oasis, surrounded by a lot of small and/or grimy towns. And I say this with some authority, for I have been to Lawton, and found it wanting.

That said, I am very excited about this convention and I'm looking forward to all of the frivolity that is sure to ensue. For those of you on the fence about whether or not to attend, or maybe you're thinking, "Hmmm, I wonder what Mark actually does at these things," well look no further. Here's my panel schedule:

Friday                      5PM       Comic Book to Movie/Book to Comic Book

 Saturday              10AM       Oh No!  It's MAINSTREAM

Saturday               12PM       Writing Realistic Humans

Saturday                 8PM       RADIO SHOW

Sunday                   9AM        Koffee Klatch Saturday

 Sunday                 12PM       Cryptozoology in Urban Myth:  Hate to Say It, We Need Bigfoot

Sunday                   1PM        Dinosaurs and Why the SF/F Community Loves Them 

Sunday                   2PM        AUTOGRAPHS

And For the record, I will have copies of RoadTrip and Dreams in the Fire for sale. If you have a copy of SCOUTS and you want me to sign it, bring that along, too. Heck, bring everything. I'll sign it however you like. You want a Frazetta autograph? No problem. Bob Kane? You betcha. Note: autographs not guaranteed to look like original.

Hope to see you in Oklahoma City this weekend. If you're at the con, please stop by and say hello. You now know where to find me.

By Way of an Apology, Howard Days 2012

I must begin this post with a big, fat "I'm sorry." I know, it's been a while, but seriously, I've been very busy. The burgeoning Jack Teagarden Museum project is ramping up and very soon, I'll have 2 1/2 jobs on my hands instead of my usual 1 1/2 jobs. Some things are going to get pushed to the side. But not this blog. I promise I'll send more out, even if it's just small updates.

Now, about this year's Howard Days...

Man, I love Texas.

I don't want to say that this year was the BEST HOWARD DAYS EVER because, in fact, every year they are great and steadily getting better. Which one is my favorite? The last one. Always is.

The annual gathering of Robert E. Howard fans, scholars, movers & shakers, and experts big and small has become more of a family reunion than anything else. So many of us are regulars and it's the only time we see each other, and we always make time to chitchat and catch up with matters inside and outside the arena of Howard Studies. The vibe is contagious amongst the old-timers: all are welcome. Even the few weirdos that we occasionally attract are conspicuous by their absence.

I don't quite know what it is that makes Howard Days so special. Maybe it's Cross Plains, Texas, itself that adds that perfect touch of homey charm and small town enthusiasm to the weekend. All of the locals are smiling and friendly and eager and willing to help in any way they can. They are always impressed by the folks who've traveled from far and wide to be there, and any foreign accents discovered are particularly exciting for all.

A Scot in Texas: Al contemplates the sunset.

I have to give a shout out here to Al Harron and his family. Al is one of the big fans in Howard Circles, operating a blog dedicated to same and is a regular presence at Conan.com. He's from Scotland (yes, THAT Scotland) and for the past three years, he's made the trip to Cross Plains for Howard Days. But that's not all. He has brought with him every year his mother, his aunt, and his granny. The Wyrd Sisters, they call themselves, and they are a Scottish force to be reckoned with. In Cross Plains, everyone loves them. They are such troopers, and always up for any adventure.

That's kinda what it's like. You walk up to the house, and everyone shouts your name like you're Norm from Cheers. And they all know your name. The regulars and the locals, the newcomers and the old guard. All you have to do is show up and you are immediately in the club. Because, let's face it, this is a deliberate destination. You can't just "swing by" on your way to somewhere else. You've got to intend to get there.

From my terrible vantage point, Charles Hoffman gives
his address at the banquet while Jason Momoa looks on.

For me, I have really come to rely on my second home ever since we moved to North Texas. It's one of the few places and times where I can go and let my hair down and just be myself.  As I told this year's guest of honor Charles Hoffman, "It's like, this is the only place where you can say out loud 'Isle of the Eons' and everyone instantly knows what you are talking about." I need that, frankly, as does just about any other serious geek/writer/artist/creative type/collector/gamer/superfan I know. You have to make time to be with your own.

Of course, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy a certain amount of, shall we say, rarefied celebrity, that comes with me attending every year. Usually it's someone walking up to me, very nervous, and saying something that begins with, "Um, Mister Finn, I just wanted to tell you how much Blood & Thunder meant to me..." And yeah, it's very flattering, but I am also keenly aware that it's the only place I'll ever be treated with some measure of respect like that. Even still, it is flattering, and I try to put everyone at ease and take time to talk to them and include them in whatever else is going on. Basically, I try to do what Rusty Burke and Bill Cavalier did for me, about a thousand years ago at my first Howard Days in the mid 1990s.

Paul Herman, Barbara Barrett, and Rusty Burke
at the Glenn Lord  Remembrance Panel.

These days, there's panel discussions and all kinds of stuff to do in addition to touring the house and taking the guided tour of Howard's old stomping grounds. No one is ever bored, except for maybe the wives and girlfriends, but even they almost always get involved and have a good time, too. I've participated in my share of them, but for the last few years, they have been packed to the gills. It's rewarding to have these folks, most of whom I know personally, and who have contact information for me, come to hear what I have to say about, say, the enduring popularity of Conan or the fact that in the Golden Age of REH Criticism, we need a stronger and more aggressive academic presence to usher Howard into American Canon status.

Reconnecting with these folks is so very gratifying, as well. Paul M. Sammon is a good example of this. Paul is an author and film person with lots of credits to his name (go check out his book, Future Noir: The Making of Blade Runner--it's incredible). He actually worked on both Conan movies with Ahnold! Well, Paul's been a regular at REH Days since the Centennial and he's got great stories that he tells about working in the last gasp of pre-corporate Hollywood. Very well-read and knows his stuff; he's a real REH fan and at any other convention or show, he'd be mobbed by people wanting to talk to him about his arm-long list of credits. But here, every year, he's just Paul and he's one of the guys.

Jeff Shanks is one of the up-and-comers in the field of
Howard Studies. He and I have some great projects
in the works, too!

With all of us in one place, and with cold beverages being freely tipped, it's inevitable that business get discussed, plans hatched, and schemes started. It's how Dreams in the Fire came to be. It's how me and Chris Gruber ended up working on the Complete Boxing Stories project together. It's how I end up 'volunteering' for special projects. That conscription usually goes like this: Rusty Burke or Paul Herman will say, from across the pavilion, "Hey Finn, come here for a second." I always think they are going to offer me a beer. I am always wrong. But some of those projects end up becoming the very thing that people win awards for. Here's a complete list of this year's REH Foundation Award Winners. You'll find my name there too!

Shameless, I tell you. Sonya is a sucker for any man
who'll scratch her tummy. 

Over the years, I've brought nearly thirty newcomers to Howard Days, either to help them get their "uber-fanboy-nerd" on, or to explain why I'm the way I am. That Cathy and the dog are also welcome (and more, understanding of why I need to do this) is one of the thousand reasons why I married her in the first place. I've gotten close to a lot of people through this annual pilgrimage of mine. It's been my pleasure to get to know so many wonderful folks (as well as a few righteous assholes--but never enough to spoil the party) involved in Howard Days. I've also seen some of those friends fade away, drop out, and even die. It's been hard on me, every time something like that happens. But the rest of the family--my friends and colleagues in this small, weird little clique--keep me grounded, keep me energized, and keep me going on, looking forward, and are a constant reminder of the promise I made my fifteen year old self, to be a good writer, and to thank Robert E. Howard for showing me what that looked like.

To all of my friends, my fellow Howard Heads, and the wonderful people of Cross Plains, thank you for all of it. I can't wait for next year.

Some thoughts on the PCA/ACA conference

I'm on the mend from a particularly nasty upper respiratory infection, but I wanted to jot down a few thoughts about Boston and the PCA/ACA conference while it's fresh in my mind.

For those of you who don't know, the PCA/ACA conference stands for Pop Cultural Association/American Culture Association joint national annual get-together. There are regional meetings as well; the Southwestern meeting is usually in Albuquerque,  NM, but it sometimes makes it down to San Antonio, Texas. I went there last year, as the national conference was also at the site of the southwestern conference.

This year, the national conference was in Boston, Ma. A great city, a legendary city, a kind of mirror to New York in many ways; similar culture, architecture, history, etc. A great rivalry exists between them and it's easy to see why. It was certainly the most expensive PCA/ACA conference I've ever been to, from the air fare to the bill of fare, and all points in between. Looking ahead, I see it's not going to get any better, either, because next year's national conference is in Washington, D.C., a destination not exactly known for its inexpensive-ness. Two years from now: Chicago.  All of this begs a question from me: What exactly is the purpose of this annual get-together in the first place?

See, the PCA and the ACA started throwing annual conferences to give those academics in pop culture and American culture studies (two areas of academia that have been heretofore marginalized) their own place to present papers (thus adding to a person's c.v.) and meet up with and exchange ideas with other people working on the same area of interest as yourself. I would say that, at one time, maybe that was the case. But the higher ups have been courting these expensive, destination cities for several years now, and I contend that it's doing the people attending these conventions as huge disservice.

Granted, some of them are getting stipends and grants to go and present. But many more are grad students--and I know this because that's who I've been talking to for several years now--who are starving themselves so they can come present. (thus adding to their c.v.). Simply put: this convention doesn't need to be in a destination city. It needs to be in college towns. Let me explain the difference.

Destination cities are places like San Diego, where people usually put things like nursing and teaching conferences. These are the kinds of conferences where you're supposed to get ten hours of in-service training, so you sign up for the first two sessions on Monday, leaving your schedule wide open for Tuesday through Thursday so you can go see Seaworld and the like. The whole thing is written off by your institution because in-service training is in the budget, so who cares what it costs?

College towns are places like Columbus, Ohio, and Madison, Wisconsin, where there's enough infrastructure to support a big gathering, but not much else to do. Oh, there's bars galore, and cheap, delicious restaurants everywhere, because it's a college town, and there's usually a historic or a music or an arts district, but it's still reasonably priced, which is great, since the vast majority of the people at the conference are going to be hanging out together, talking and drinking and eating (and mostly talking and drinking).

That's the kind of conference the PCA/ACA is. It's a bar-con. Most everyone there is either presenting, or attending other presentations on similar topics. Since most everyone at the conference is staying close to the hotel, why on Earth would you make it a hotel that's twice the price of something in, say, Columbus? And because the conference was in a downtown location, in one of the worst traffic cities in the country, you were either stuck on foot or forced to take a cab to get anywhere interesting--more needless expense.Especially when we're all paying for the privilege of presenting a paper, and we have to not only pony up for the conference, but also pay for a membership into either the PCA or the ACA. Talk about a captive audience...

Oh, and another thing: If you are going to the trouble and expense to have George Takai as your keynote speaker, what the hell is the point of scheduling him in the middle of the day, during all of the other paper presentations? I know what the committee was probably thinking: "Well, he's going to be addressing G/B/L/TG issues, so SURELY not everyone in attendance will have a vested interest in that topic, right?" Yes, right, except for one thing: the person giving that talk played SULU ON STAR TREK!  You just dropped SULU into the biggest gathering of geeks on the Eastern Seaboard. What's wrong with you people?

If I seem a little tweaked about this, you may infer correctly that, yes, in fact, Takai's talk was scheduled opposite my session. Thanks, PCA/ACA! You're awesome. I'm not complaining about the lack of attendance in my session; just the opposite. But I guarantee you that my room would not have been full had it not been for the use of the word "Gorilla" in my paper title. That's the only thing that saved me, and I know this because I asked the crowd. But that's beside the point. I wanted to see Takai's talk. It was the deciding factor on whether or not I was going to attend in Boston this year. Well, the joke's on me.

 Maybe we're the ones doing it wrong. Maybe the pulp studies guys and the Game Theory guys and the Comic Book studies guys and all of the other groups I've talked to are just doing it wrong. Maybe we need to just walk in like gunslingers, present our paper during our session, and then slap leather for Fenway Park and spend the rest of the conference away from the nerds. But that's not what we want. We're all in the sessions, listening, critiquing, discussing, and in general interacting with our fellow fans, scholars, and academics. We go out for lunch or dinner, but we always seem to end up back in the bar, talking about books, things to write, angle to take, new stuff to consider--you know, what you'd expect to be discussed at an academic conference. As it stands right now, I know most of the pulp studies guys who have been active for the past two years won't have the budget to attend next year. What will the mean? Will the chairmen of the conference even care? I don't know. But I'm sick and tired of going to great cities, at great expense, that I cannot enjoy because I'm tied into the conference. It just feels like I'm paying for someone else's vacation.

An Update

Did I drop off the face of the Earth, or what? Well, no, not really. I just went into my rabbit hole and I've been typing like a fool. Most of the work I've pounded out this past four to six weeks has been paying gigs and deadline crunches. I find that I have real trouble trying to type chatty updates when someone is knocking on my door for work. I'm weird like that.

A couple of things I can announce:

I'm deep in the midst of working with Chris Gruber and Patrice Louinet on a four volume compilation of all of Robert E. Howard's boxing stories. Yeah, you read that right: four volumes. "Wait, Mark, hold on, I know you like, you know, this Sailor Steve Costigan character, but how in the world can there be four whole books of boxing stories when there were only three of Conan? And why haven't I heard about all of that boxing stuff before now?"

Ask L. Sprague de Camp. He's the one who promoted Conan to the heavens, casting huge shadows across the rest of Howard's work. Howard made consistent money writing humorous boxing stories, and later humorous westerns in the same vein, and this is a through line that runs across his entire career. This project will be major and significant.

Also, SCOUTS! is about to be out from Ape Entertainment. Those of you who know about this, who've ordered a copy from your local retailer, who intend to pick it up at one of the many stores that supports Ape Ent's comic (or my stuff)...I thank you from the bottom of my heart. And if you're one of those people who live near a comic shop that hasn't changed its wall stock in ten years, who still has Lady Death and Witchblade posters plastered everywhere, who doesn't carry kids comics because "kids don't shop here," my advice to you is to find another comic shop, because they aren't helping the industry, and they don't see the big picture, and they never will. Let them be the clubhouse that they are and find a real retailer who wants your business and runs his store like the same.

Finally, I'm working on a couple of secret projects. Writing wise, that is. I'll break them when I can. But in the meantime, thanks for sticking around, and don't forget to nudge me on Twitter or Facebook if I go too long without talking out loud.

Some Blood & Thunder-Related Bits

My buddy Ben Friberg, ace cameraman and all around very fine fellow, interviewed me in 2007 during Robert E. Howard Days in Cross Plains. He's working with the material for a larger project, but he released a couple of snippets for folks to enjoy. I think he asked some great questions, and I sound a little smarter than usual. If you're interested, you can see part one here:

And if you're really interested, you can view part two here:

And in other news, I got to see a sneak preview of the Barbarian Days documentary that I am featured in, along with Chris Gruber, Rusty Burke, Bill Cavalier, and a number of my fellow friends and fans. The movie looks great, and it's put together very well. There's one part of the documentary I wasn't happy with, but I kept reminding myself that it's not my movie. I thought the guys did a great job of splitting the difference between Cross Plains in general and the Robert E. Howard community in specific. Still no word yet on when it'll be out this year, but we'll let you know.

My 2012 ConDFW Panel Schedule

Hey Folks,

Here it is! For those of you in the MetroPlex area who want to know when Finn is coming into town, here's your answer. I'll be at the show until the wheels fall off. I have no other plans. Y'all should come by if you can. It's going to be a hoot and a holler. Especially the Friday night panel. We had a blast last year. And if you've never seen Troll 2...well, it's the new Plan Nine From Outer Space. That's all I'm saying.

FRIDAY

Signings:

6 pm – Gabrielle Faust, Mark Finn, A. Lee Martinez

Panel Room 1 - Warwick

9pm - Talking During the Movies -- Tommy vs. Trolls

Panelists: Mark Finn, Michael Ashleigh Finn, Anthony Brownrigg, Ren Hobt and anyone else willing to have fun!

In the hallowed halls of bad moviedom, there has arisen a conundrum. What is the best worst movie ever made? Tonight we screen two world-class contenders for the title. Congoers, prepare for glory!

The Room (2003) -- Tommy Wiseau's gift to the world, "The Room" is a movie that dares you to watch it. This modern masterpiece of crap defies easy description. Suffice to say, that while you may leave "The Room", "The Room" will never leave you.

Troll 2 (1991) -- We know what movie you really want to see this year. We know you're all chomping at the bit for The Hobbit. But wait! I sense fear, trepidation even. Will they do the source material justice? Will the Hobbit be as good as the trilogy? Are we in for massive disappointment? Fear not, my friends. For whatever the Hobbit maybe, it will be better than Troll 2. Perhaps the worst fantasy movie ever made, what more can you say about a movie called 'Troll 2' that has no trolls in it?

SATURDAY

Panel Room 2 - Manchester

11am - The Dangers of Self-Publishing

Panelists: P.N. Elrod (M), Lillian Stewart Carl, Bill Fawcett, Mark Finn, Melanie Fletcher

There are more and more dangers out there for the unwary prospective writer. From vanity book publishing to groups that disappear with your story rights, there needs to be a guide on what to look for when you want to sell yourself for fun and profit. Our panelists seek to do just that.

Panel Room 3 – Canterbury

4pm – Soaring Ships and Swashbuckling Sentients: Trends in Space Opera

Panelists: Ethan Nahte, Lee Martindale, William Ledbetter (M), Mark Finn

Once upon a time Science Fiction was just that – fiction that had a science flair to it. However, then the flair of super heroes came, with serialized adventures in pulp and cinema. And with the coming of John Carter of Mars to the big screen in all his SFX glory, the genre of Space Opera is poised to make a big comeback. Our panelists talk about where this is going, and what to look forward to in the future.

Panel Room 1 – Warwick

6pm – Raurgh! Zombies ate my brain! (And How YOU can avoid this fate!)

Panelists: Cherie Priest, Scott Padget, Chris Donahue (M), Mark Finn, John Manning

One of the first causes of the apocalypse that comes to mind (outside of high cholesterol) is the inevitable

zombie outbreak. Whether by a rogue comet, magic, or science gone wrong, zombies are entrenched in modern society’s mind. The question still remains, however – how do you survive the zombie outbreak? Is it necessary to own a number of weapons? Our resident survivologists spread the news. Programming Note: Survival is not guaranteed by attending this panel.

SUNDAY

Readings:

11 am – Julie Barrett, Paul Black, Mark Finn

Panel Room 3 – Canterbury

1pm – Don't Quit Your Day Job!

Panelists: Julie Barrett, Melanie Fletcher (M), Mark Finn, Rhonda Eudaly

A popular panel from last year, we bring the perennial topic back: what does one do to survive while waiting for

your big break? Our panelists share horror stories of what they had to do to survive, and offer advice on what

you can do as well.

Robert E. Howard's 106th birthday*

As someone who has now become somewhat inextricably tied to Robert E. Howard, the author from Texas who created Conan and so many other wonderful and engaging pulp stories, I feel like I should say something to mark the occasion of his birthday.

I've been involved in Howard Studies for a number of years and I frequently have to remind myself just how far REH (as we call him in print) has come as a popular culture figure. If you are wondering yourself what I'm talking about, go watch the REH mini-biography on the new Conan the Barbarian blu-ray. You'll probably watch it and go, "So? Yeah? Big deal. I know all of this stuff, Finn. What's your point?"

Then go watch the REH featurette on the FIRST Conan movie DVD, starring Schwarzenegger. Just compare the two and you'll see the differences, in shart contrast. You'll wonder why, for example, they let John Milius talk about Robert E. Howard as if he knew the man personally, when in fact he has had, and continues to not have, any ties to Howard or the Howard Studies community. He's just a ham hock of a director, flapping his big fat mouth, and getting it all wrong. 100% wrong.

That's not happening now. Paradox is maintaining Howard's image and biography, even as they continue to support the publishing effort. It's important to do both. There are millions of copies of the "Conan Saga," which is what we have come to call the 12-book paperback series that was put together by L. Sprague de Camp with the help of Lin Carter and Bjorn Nyborg. These books were the introduction to so many fans of REH, the character of Conan, and perhaps worst of all, de Camp's introductions regarding Howard from a biographical perspective. Oh, and of course, his assertion that there's no deep meaning to epic fantasy. It's all just good clean fun. Riiiiiiight.

Anyway, all of that junk is still out there. Those books get traded into Half-Price books and frequently don't last a week on the shelves before someone picks them up again. Gary Romeo, the greatest de Camp apologist of all, thinks it's funny that people like me keep bringing up de Camp. To be fair, he also complained that people weren't giving him enough credit when everyone was trying to freeze him out of the books. So, either way, he's going to kvetch.

But I want to be very clear here: the reason why I keep bringing him up is because I don't want people to forget what a horrible biographer de Camp was, and also what a petty little snark he could be whenever he talked about My Favorite Author. He never missed an opportunity whenever he had an audience to offer up a sideways kick or a backhanded compliment about Howard, usually a listing of all of Howard's faults as an author and as a human, followed with "but for all of that, he sure could write rousing action scenes, couldn't he?" This is the literary equivalent to telling your dance partner, "You know, for a fat chick, you sure don't sweat very much." It's damning with faint praise, and it has been the model for criticizing REH, well, ever since de Camp started doing it in the mid-1950s.

But that's changing now. The documentary on the new Conan dvd is huge. I know of at least two high profile anthologies coming out, one this year and one next year, with REH stories in them. It's only a matter of time before Howard becomes the next of the pulp-era authors to get folded into the American Literary Canon.It may take a few more years, and a few more people outside of the SF-F sub-culture to write favorable about him, but it's going to happen.

And there will always be a pop cultural, if not a cultural, presence for REH and his work. So the Conan movie didn't work out so good. Doesn't matter. Not really. The MMO is still going strong, and there's more and more publishing coming out. Another movie will get made. Hopefully closer to the source material. The message boards are active, and the fan base is healthy. As more and more of these fans discover or rediscover Howard's work, they are greeted with a very different picture of the author than merely "the brooding loner who wrote Conan."

I can't think of a better 106th* birthday present. Happy Birthday, Bob. Thanks for the words.

*Thanks to Damon over at the excellent Two-Gun Raconteur website for reminding me my count was off. It's 2012, not 2011, don't you know.