Me: So, I've been thinking...
Cathy: Oh, no.
Me: What? You always do that when I start to tell you my great ideas!
Cathy: Honey, it's not that you're...okay, go ahead.
Me: No, forget it. I'll just do it without you, now.
Cathy: Noooo, now you'd better tell me.
Me: Okay. Fine. So, I've been thinking...
Cathy: We got that part already.
Me: I've been thinking about going into business as a wedding planner.
Cathy: (stunned silence)
Me: See, the way I figure it--
Cathy: (interrupting) What on EARTH makes you think up this stuff?
Me: It's simple, really. I see the women of the world as being divided into two camps: those who have had their wedding planned out since they were thirteen years old, down to the tux color and the cake flavor...and those who haven't.
Cathy: Uh huh.
Me: Well, clearly, I've got zero interest in dealing with Bridezillas. That's not something I want to deal with when it's someone I know, much less a stranger.
Cathy: Yeah, that's not your strength.
Me: Buuuuuut...on the other hand...I've got serious planning skills when it comes to doing weddingly things. Which is perfect for the woman who doesn't know and/or doesn't really care, she just wants to be married.
Cathy: Um, Honey...
Me: Or what about those nerd girls who want a Star Trek wedding? I'd be perfect for that! I speak their language.
Cathy: I'm not so sure that's ever the woman's idea...
Me: Think about it! 'Custom-designed wedding ceremonies that reflect your true selves.' I'm telling you, I think I can do this.
Cathy: Okay, do you have any idea how much that--or the time--*sigh* you know what? Sure. Sounds great.
Me: Of course, I'll need a website. Maybe a picture of me, only with six arms, like an aspect of Shiva.
Cathy: What?
Me: Yeah! In the palm of each hand will be something you can click on. Writing, consulting, Wedding Planning...
Cathy: Okay, now I need a drink.
