The
Plainclothes cop was called detective Cliff Pittman. And he gave me shit for my
stage name. The photographer was called Detective John Sullivan. Cliff and
Sully. They set me down in a dark room, metal table, wooden chair, and one
light bulb. It smelled of piss and blood. I wasn’t handcuffed, which was small
comfort. I’d heard from some of the rowdier day players all about the quality
and thoroughness of the L.A.
police department’s beatings. They were legendary in their attention to detail.
I’ve never been more thankful for three beers in my life.
Pittman
did most of the talking, while Sully stood behind him, just out of the range of
the light bulb. A pale Irish shadow with his arms folded in front of him,
offering the occasional observation. It was a well-rehearsed routine, and they
sold it, brother.
“Starsky,
we talked to the front office about you,” Pittman said. “You do day-player
work, stunt work, and now you’re playing the gorilla.”
“We
covered this already,” I said.
“Humor
us,” said Sullivan.
“That’s
some pretty specific work you’re doing. Playing the monkey, I mean.” Pittman
said. “There can’t be too much call for that, even at shithole studios like
Intrepid.”
“Well,
somebody’s got to play the cop in this picture,” I said, pronouncing it just
like McAuley did.
I’ll
give Pittman credit for one thing: he didn’t telegraph his punch. It shot
straight out from his waist and caught me on the bridge of my nose. If he
didn’t break it, it sure as hell wasn’t from a lack of effort on his part. I
could smell the blood and taste it and I shot up out of my chair to return the
favor. Sullivan was in front of me before I could adjust my trajectory and I
ran into him at full force. He just grabbed me by the arms and pushed me back
in the chair.
“I
don’t think you wanna do that, Starsky,” he said, pinning me in place until I
stopped struggling.
“Call
me Clay. We’re all friends, here.”
Sullivan
turned to his partner. “He’s got brass balls, I’ll say that for him.”
“I
ain’t impressed,” Pittman said. “And the longer he dances with me, the more
pissed off I’m gonna get.”
Sullivan
backed up against the wall, refolding his arms. “Yeah, Clay, maybe you’d better
just answer the questions, huh?”
“I’m waiting for you two to ask me one,” I said, wiping my nose. It wasn’t broken, but it was bloody as hell. I went for my handkerchief before I remembered I gave it to Louise.
“I’m waiting for you two to ask me one,” I said, wiping my nose. It wasn’t broken, but it was bloody as hell. I went for my handkerchief before I remembered I gave it to Louise.
Sullivan
tossed me a cheap replacement. Pittman let me clean up for a minute and then said,
“Okay, tough guy, where were you on June the third?”
I
really had to think about it for a minute. I counted backwards to remember.
“Wednesday night. I went to Rudy’s with the guys.”
“The
guys,” said Pittman. “Like who, for instance?”
“Joe
Wilcox, and some of the other guys from Jungle
Jones. We started shooting on Monday, and we were blowing off steam.”
“How
long were you there?” Pittman asked.
I
puffed out my cheeks. “Well, let’s see...”
“Come
on, Starsky, quit stalling,” Pittman barked.
“Didja close the place down?” prompted Sullivan.
“Didja close the place down?” prompted Sullivan.
“Yeah,
we all left there after two in the morning. Steve kicked us out.”
“See,
Cliff?” said Sullivan. “They all got the same story.”
“Yeah,
Wilcox told us the same thing,” Pittman groused.
“Is
that a bad thing?” I said. “Ernie was respected. He was one of us. We were all
sick about what happened.”
“Not
so broken up that you didn’t touch his widow to buy the suit, eh?” Sullivan
said.
I
nodded. “Yeah, I wanted to break into doing what Ernie did. But I think
stabbing a guy to get the job is a little much, even for Hollywood.”
“How’d
you know he was stabbed?” said Pittman.
“Remember,
Cliff? Clay was the guy lurking up the rafters,” Sullivan said.
“Oh,
right.” Pittman snapped his fingers. “Hey, Sully, you remember how he came down
the ladder when we caught him? He just slid down on his own steam.”
“Neat
trick,” said Sullivan.
“Takes
strength,” said Pittman.
“It
sure does,” said Sullivan.
“What
do you mean by that?” I asked.
“Only
this,” said Pittman, leaning in. “You could’ve given your pals the slip and
drove back to the studio, and decided to take Ernie out on your own, then drove
back and slipped in while everyone was in their cups, and no one would be any
wiser.”
“That’s
nuts,” I said.
“Not
really,” said Sullivan. “You got motive. You got means. And this would be
opportunity.”
I
looked at both of them, incredulous. They were deadly serious. Pittman’s punch
had knocked most of the beer out of me, but their demeanor scared the rest of
it right out of me. I swallowed and tried
to be as sincere as I could.
“You
guys still hang murderers here?” I asked.
“Yep,
for now,” said Pittman.
“Maybe
the gas chamber, if the politicos have their way,” said Sullivan.
“Okay,”
I said. “I want to tell you guys a couple of things. I get paid twenty-five
bucks a day for stunt work. If I’m wearing the suit, I get paid double that.
Fifty bucks a day. That costume weighs sixty-five pounds when it’s dry, and
about eighty pounds when I’m sweating. I can’t be in it for more than a few
minutes, or I can pass out, or worse.”
“What
do you want from us?” growled Pittman. “No one’s making you do it.”
“Let
me finish,” I said. “If you want to make any money as a gorilla man, you gotta
hustle. Two or three jobs a week, if you’re lucky. You need your own suit. There’s
only a few guys and they all have their own suit. I’m buying Ernie’s on an
installment plan. And now, I’ve also paying the head of wardrobe a fiver on
every job to keep the suit in working order.” I took a breath. “I thought this
would be a fun way to make some extra bucks, but now I’m thinking twice about
the whole goddamn thing. Now I ask you guys: does that sound like I’ve got a
motive to kill the King of the Gorilla Men?”
Sullivan
cleared his throat. Pittman turned away and they exchanged a few looks that I
couldn’t read. When Pittman turned back to me, he was smirking. “Okay, Starsky,
you may not know who did it, but I ain’t convinced that you don’t know
something about who did. Alla you Hollywood types are very close.”
“Is
that a crack?” I asked. “Coming from the guy making goo-goo eyes at his partner
just now? When are you two gonna tie the knot?”
Pittman’s
smile broke. He stepped aside, muttering, “And we were getting along so well,
too.” Sullivan was right behind him.
Sullivan
hit a lot harder that Pittman. A lot.