It’s a tale as old as the movies
itself. Man does something stupid, or brilliant, or brilliantly stupid, and
finds/discovers/invents/stumbles across a monster, and then spends the rest of
the movie trying not to get eaten.
I’m not talking about Japanese Kaiju
movies, although they are certainly a part of the larger discussion (and, FYI,
will get their own Top 5 List at a later date). I’m referring to the things
that are larger than humans, but smaller than Godzilla. Or, optionally,
man-sized, but far from man-like. The monster in question doesn’t have to be a
giant animal; indeed, the best of this type of movie are monster that never
were, or thought to have been myths, or just plain aliens.
There’s also a hunter versus hunted
component to this kind of movie. Whatever is chasing us for food triggers these
primal fears within us that we typically suppress. As a country that is
mythically saturated by a fear of the unknown, the Other, the Outer Darkness,
these movies are at their biggest and best the every thing our ancestors feared
when they huddled in their cabins for warmth. Our cabins are way better now,
with wi-fi and air conditioning, but the fear never really goes away.
Those of you over the age of 40 will
doubtless notice a lack of movies over 40 years old. Here’s why: as cool, as
classic, as interesting, and as cinematically important as those movies are to
the development of horror as a viable genre, in this day and age, they just
aren’t very scary. And most of them, in fact, kinda suck. That we enjoy them
anyway is beside the point; my love for the movie Robot Monster is well documented, but I don’t even pretend for a
nanosecond that it’s very good, or has merit, or is something that other taxpaying
citizens should watch. It’s like being a Mr. Pibb fan. Enjoy it all you want,
but don’t try to convince the rest of us that it’s not low-grade Dr. Pepper,
all right?
5. Q (1982)
Director Larry Cohen is known for
doing quirky, left-of-center character-driven movies. Q, or the Winged
Serpent, is one of those movies that you either love or hate. There is no
middle ground. I love it, but then again, I’m a nut for this kind of movie.
The New York City police are baffled
by a series of rooftop murders involving grisly decapitations. There’s no
connection between the victims and the city is in a panic. One guy actually
knows what’s going on; a low-life con-man who sees the “murderer” and spends a
good portion of the movie trying to make it work to his advantage.
I know, it’s not the usual thing,
but that’s really what I like about it. That, and the creature design, which is
stop-motion animated by Dave Allen. The few scenes featuring the full monster
are well-done (well, as well-done as you can get in 1982 without using Ray
Harryhausen, and I really do mean that in the nicest possible way). David
Carradine stars in one of the weirdest monster movies you’ll ever see.
4. Tremors (1990)
If Kevin Bacon was only famous for
being in Tremors, it would still be enough. Everyone likes Tremors.
Everyone. Whether you think it’s a better-than-average B-movie, or you think
it’s a brilliant political commentary-slash-allegory for our environmental
policies literally collapsing beneath our feet, or maybe you just like the Sand
Worms in Dune and think they didn’t get enough screen time, Tremors is kind of
like the everyman of Post-Modern B-Movie Monster/Political Allegory films.
The action takes place in Nevada, in
a former mining town. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward stumble across a dead body on
top of an electrical tower and afterwards, they find an old sheep farmer’s head
and conclude there’s a killer on the loose. The town is, of course, overrun and
soon a small band of intrepid survivors has to stay alive and get out of town
and then when those options dry up, kill the monsters. The usual rate of
attrition applies, here, as people do stupid or daring or brave things and get
eaten.
The script is very much a
Paint-By-Numbers endeavor, but the cast and crew take it seriously, and so you
do, as well. That’s not to say that Bacon and Ward aren’t having a grand time.
The movie is very quotable, too. You can, and probably should, avoid all of the
direct-to-video sequels. Tremors became a franchise, with each successive
release pulling the first movie down just a little bit, as most horror sequels
do. Oh, who am I kidding; I’m sure the whole “saga” would make an excellent
afternoon binge-fest, provided there was enough beer and chicken wings.
3. Attack the Block (2011)
You’ve probably heard of this modern
cult-classic, which was a darling on the genre festival circuit a few years
ago. When the lead thug, played by John
Boyega, was trucked out on the Internet as one of the new faces of Star Wars
for Episode 7: The Force Awakens, the movie got a shot in the arm as Cine-Hipsters scrambled to see it so
they could drop it casually into conversations about the new Star Wars trilogy.
What happens during an alien
invasion when the creatures touch ground in the bad part of town? Good
question. In Attack the Block, a routine mugging by a bunch of penny-ante
teenage gangsters is interrupted by glowing meteors falling out of the sky. The
kids come across some creepy extraterrestrial life forms, and so, of course,
they kill it, thinking it’ll be something they can sell later on. But when more
monsters, bigger monsters, start falling out of the sky, the pack of juvenile
delinquents have to navigate between the real, actual, gun-toting gangsters on
their low income housing block, and these terrifying alien beasts who
relentlessly chase the kids all over the place.
There are some things about Attack
the Block that will leave you conflicted. The least-unlikeable person in the
movie is the hero, and you won’t like Moses for most, if not all, of the film.
The little assholes he surrounds himself with are no better. And only his mugging
victim at the beginning of the film engenders any real sympathy. All the same,
as bad as the little hoodlums are, the monsters are far worse.
Speaking of monsters...wow. The
alien creatures in Attack the Block are some of the most
visually impressive monsters I’ve ever seen. You’ll dig them, guaranteed. They
are truly alien, and truly terrifying.
The whole movie reminds me of early
Walter Hill films, full of anti-heroes, penny-ante criminals with delusions of
grandeur, and a streetwise sensibility made all the more strange by the British
cockney slang and South London setting. Attack the Block is
like The Warriors Meets Aliens, if that’s not too
bizarre a reference for you, and well worth seeing.
2. The Host (2006)
Just when you think you’ve seen it
all, and from those wacky Asians, no less, there comes this incredibly cool
monster movie from Korea, proving that your irradiated and mutated marine life
need not be 300 feet tall to be creepy and scary and destructive.
Check out this plot: some kids spot
the monster hanging out under a bridge. It fall off, swims ashore, and starts
eating people and stepping on them and chasing them hither and yon. A panicked
family has to figure out how to survive the monster’s attack. Simple, elegant,
and leaving plenty of room for the standard “we’re killing the planet” message
to go with it.
The creature is fully CGI, and integrated
into most of the shots with great care, so you really get a sense of this thing
running amok, chasing humans the way a cocker spaniel chases squirrels in the
park, with much the same results. Gruesome! There’s a lot of good moments of
extreme tension and even a few jump scares to go with the edge-of-your-seat
chase sequences.
1. The Relic (1997)
Based on the book by Douglas Preston
and Lincoln Child, this movie of the same name does an admirable job of
embracing the subject matter and splitting the difference between a police
procedural and a monster rampage. Tom Sizemore plays the part of what would
have been the first Agent Pendergast appearance on film (our loss, really) and
Penelope Ann Miller plays the plucky scientist who knows all about the tribal
boogum that’s cutting people up in the museum.
The location was switched to Chicago
from New York City, and this meant that the Field Museum, one of my favorite
museums in the world, is the major set piece in the movie. Despite Sizemore
(pre-rehab, if I remember correctly) and Miller doing a bang-up job selling the
story and getting their jump-scare on, the star of the show is the creature
itself, an amazing blend of practical effects and CGI that is perfectly
balanced to be fast, large, and terrifying. For that we have the late, great Stan
Winston to thank.
This is, I think, an exemplary
version of the monster-rampage plot, with just enough “keep it in the shadows”
and jump scares that are not diminished when you finally get a good look at the
thing. Plot-wise, it breaks very little new ground, but technically, it’s a
textbook on how to deliver a good, old-fashioned, by the numbers “creature on
the loose movie.” That’s important, I think, in this day and age. We finally
have the technology and know-how to deliver a monster that should allow us to
willingly suspend our disbelief. Consider this one of the first ones to do that
from start to finish.
_________________________________________________________________________________ This is one small part of a much larger series of articles, the entirety of which are listed below. Enjoy!
My Top 5 When Animals Attack Movies
My Top 5 Mummy Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Frankenstein Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Creatures from the Deep Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Killer Doll Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Horror Anthology movies
My Top 5 Favorite Dracula Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Lovecraftian Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Haunted House Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Movie Maniac Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Killer/Creepy Kid Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Devils and Demons Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Ghost Story Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Monster From Space Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Zombie Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Vampire Movies
My Top 5 Favorite Werewolf Movies
